2024 is leaning over into 2025 in a way that makes everything feel precarious.
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Survive Until 2025
This year already feels a little strange. Despite the calendar turning over from January to February, I still feel stuck in 2024. Last year still remains unfinished. I have two half-finished writing projects I still need to complete, and a big decision that needs to be put to bed.
2024 is leaning over into this 2025 in a way that makes everything feel precarious. The longer these unresolved things remain with me, the worse it gets. That 2024 isnāt really over, despite a lot of effort being expended to close them down, day by day the whole structure feels like it could come crashing down.
And Itās making me reflect on how I approach time and transition:
If you listened to Episode 2430, youāll know the big newsāPermanently Movedās 301 format is ending this year. After seven years, I think 301, 301 second long episodes is enough. This is episode 284, so I’m in the final stretch.Ā
Itās strange knowing that the most important and creatively fulfilling project of my life thus far is nearing its conclusion. But surprisingly, itās not bittersweet. When I first realised the show actually had an endpoint back in 2023, I thought I might be sad to begin the end. But in the actual event of it – Iām excited. I have 18 more episodes left in this format, and I want to enjoy themāI want to make the most of every single one.
As part of preparing for wind down, Iāve been working on properly archiving all the old early episodes. Up until now, they werenāt fully available on my blog. For some unfathomable reason, back in 2018 I originally wanted the podcast to exist separately from my blog, audio only. So I didnāt put the scripts/text up online. Iām not sure why, but after some timeāand some nudging from peersāthankfully, I finally changed my mind in 2020.
So Iāve been working through the backlog, copying, pasting, and editing old scripts from dusty old Google Docs onto my WordPress. Iām only doing two two a day, slow but steady, as it’s not important, or a major thing.
But Iāve made some good progressāI should be done next week. There are just 9 left to do.
Whatās been interesting is that through the process of doing this tedious admin, Iāve been spending a lot of time with an older version of myself.
So itās not just 2024 pressing forward into 2025, with this archive projectāitās 2020, 19, and 2018 too. All leaning over me into 2025. In revisiting these old episodes which until now have never had transcripts, Iāve come face to face with a past self who had no idea what was ahead or what he was doing or where he was going. The other day I came across a line that stopped me in my tracks. In the first episode of 2019ā1000 Mph ClubāI said:
āSurvive till 2025ā.
It was a bit of a shock to see myself from six years ago, reach out across time and space to speak to a future self-Me right now-Here in 2025.Ā
And you know what? Whilst things have been extremely weird, and they certainly havenāt been easy. I did survive until 2025.
But still, the sentiment concerns me, or rather it explains to me a few things. That perhaps Iād had this attitude filed away as a bedrock in my unconscious mind. A self imposed time limit, or a time scale in which to get things done.
But here we are in 2025. This year, Permanently Moved is changing, but not ending. Other things are shifting tooānot just the culmination of a creative work Iāve been at from 2018 to 2025, but in my professional and probably in personal life as well.
Iām looking forward to it. Which is a new feeling. For most of my life, Iāve resisted change, preferring to operate within familiar structures and patterns. But after everythingāthe last half-decade of making this show, writing, working, everything thatās happened and still happening in and to the worldāI actually feel ready. Iām looking forward to whatās next.
Survived till 2025
Iām not saying itāll be easy, of course. Thereās a lot to untangle, to bring to a close, and to begin. But I think it will be worth it.
Iāll assume that you also all know that I donāt do New Yearās resolutions. Instead I like to think of aspirationsāvectors, directions that Iām moving toward, rather than away from. I like the term vector as when applied to the direction of ideas they warp and shape reality ā and they can deform it. Like a riverās erosion, a small trickle can become a grand valley.
Also I donāt make resolutions because Iām always too caught up in closing out the previous year to properly think about the year ahead. Iām a summer baby, so if I do want to make changes, do new things, or adopt new habits, they tend to happen around my birthday instead.
So for this year, Iāll keep moving forward, one step at a time. Wrapping things up, clearing space, and setting the course for what comes next. The past might be leaning into the present, but I donāt have to stay caught in its weight. I just need to close it down.
This year feels different doesnāt it? Maybe thatās because Iām different too. I think itās going to be a good one. Iām not just surviving nowāIām stepping forward.
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