day five
never written
ghost scripts
phantom limbs
rhythm gone
self remains
Phantom Rhythm
I realised this week that I stopped writing ‘Day X of being 40’ in my diary after day 4. Moved on already. It’s not something I was ‘worried’ about in the lead up to it, nor is it something that concerns me now the date has passed. I am a live, I am still here, and that is the state of things.
Rather than being concerned with my 40s, I realised on Thursday this week that I was experiencing ‘Phantom Podcast Syndrome’, for three whole days though Saturday there was a little nagging feeling in my body that I needed to be working on a script. I’ve had breaks before of course, between seasons and when I’ve been away in Asia etc. But I didn’t experience a false urgency that I needed to be working on the show. But after so many years, now the 301 project is complete it’s going to take a bit of getting used to.
The most important part of making the show for me was the rhythm of it. It changed who I was as a person, but maybe it also in some ways defined me a little bit? I love routine and repetition and the weekly schedule of making the show (in aggregate a bit of a grind, but in from week to week fine) was something I structured my week around.
I have a whole bunch of stuff I want to finish that have been hanging around for years in some cases. So I I suddenly seem like i’m releasing / doing a whole bunch of stuff it’s because the podcast freed up a lot of cognitive effort. But I can’t imagine it going to be all that long until I start ‘what’s next’, whatever its going to be.
On The Blog:
A Hundred Notes on Storydwelling continues to unfold over on my leaflet.pub BYENNE blog.
You are already inside it.
Before you try to speak.
Before you even write.
You’re in a world
with its own logic.
Start there.
Celebrating 301’s conclusion I got some stickers made! Will be going out to zine subscribers this week! And handed out to friends IRL next time I see you!
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Photo 365
The Ministry Of My Own Labour
- Spent a day judging the Tiny Awards! 🔥
- Worked on next #15 Zine, not the one I’m supposed to getting printed next week😟
- Finished some marketing stuff at work
- Worked on SLOP MACHINES. I’m finding whilst I enjoy editing. I don’t enjoy realising that 6k words need completely restructuring.
- Worked a little on a post about CLIPPY
- Started a retro/wash up on 301. Written 4k words so far
- Emails went out to a few potential guests about coming on next season of experience.computer
- Started ‘de-goolgeing’ my monthly ‘scrtach pad’ documents and moving them over/into Obsidian.
- Stickers arrived!
Terminal Access
Andrew Dana Hudson over at solarshades.club wrote an in depth piece Where and When (and How Much) to Fix the Climate about carbon removal projects and his thoughts as he currently participates in his Carbon Removal Justice Fellowship program. Its a real in depth look at the current state of the technology, its deployment and some early personal thoughts arising from what he’s learning. Really informative and worth a read.
I think it would be supremely helpful if everyone involved in conversations about CDR siting could just say, out loud, which emissions they care about. Otherwise, we’ll all just keep talking past each other, each side unclear on why the other is so reticent or, alternatively, so eager. We’ll never be able to agree on where or when to do carbon removal if we can’t talk clearly about “how much.”
Dipping the Stacks
Why the best journalists on YouTube are all former Vox employees
“There wasn’t a training,” he said. “There wasn’t a mandate. It was just me watching tutorials. I mean, I’ve watched tutorials that are like ‘how to make maps like Vox’ while I’m working at Vox to learn how to make maps, which is a very funny thing to happen.
‘This isn’t a gimmick’: the New Yorkers trying to restore the American chestnut
But the goal is to get as many potentially disease-resistant trees growing as possible and people can do something directly about that,” Smith added. “When you talk to folks, they really do care about biodiversity loss, they just don’t think they can do anything about it. Here, they can.”
Is Your Worldbuilding Up To Code?
I also assume it comes from fan culture—especially as amplified by the internet—where nerds get together to overanalyze everything they love. Again, I grew up in nerdy circles. I get it. One of the most popular pastimes in SFF circles is going off about worldbuilding problems, whether amusingly pointing out that “meat’s back on the menu, boys!” implies orcs have a dining culture or spending time coming up with “fan theories” for this or that alleged worldbuilding issue. I cannot think of a single popular SFF franchise or series that hasn’t spawned long-winded and not-necessarily-wrong worldbuilding critiques.
But if we want to talk about ‘here to stay’, I think we need to be more specific about what we mean by it, and what aspect of it is significant to us. If you tell me that we need to incorporate AI into our university policy because it is ‘here to stay’, does that mean we should uncritically invite it in to every aspect of our education and operation? Does ‘here to stay’ mean that a new technology gets a free pass and full capitulation?
That Dropped Call With Customer Service? It Was on Purpose
“Yes, sludge is often intentional,” he said. “Of course. The goal is to put as much friction between you and whatever the expensive thing is. So the frontline person is given as limited information and authority as possible. And it’s punitive if they connect you to someone who could actually help.”
Reading
I finished listening to On Looking: Eleven Walks with Expert Eyes by Alexandra Horowitz. Across a series of walks Horowitz investigates how humans perceive their environment. Each walk is shared with a different expert, opening up insightful perspectives on the world around us. Its really good!
I also finished reading The State of the Art by Iain M. Banks this week. Its a short story collection set in the Culture universe, Book 4 in the series. Honestly? It’s ‘aright’ I wonder what the circumstances were in the early 90’s that to lead this coming about?
Having finished those books. I started reading Tight Hip, Twisted Core by Christine Koth and The Silent King by Guy Haley
Music
Múm – Mild at Heart
Soft glitch pop rockers Múm recently put out a new single. Mild at Heart Their album Finally We Are No One was one of my favourite albums in my late teens and I’ve followed them all my adult life, checking in occasionally to hear the latest. Mild at Heart is the first single of a new album History of Silence (their first for 10 years) due our next month.
This single is very Múm, melodic, floaty, and very light hearted. I think it would be good to listen to in late afternoon whilst diving in the countryside.
Remember Kids:
The professional conducts his business in the real world. Adversity, injustice, bad hops and rotten calls, even good breaks and lucky bounces all comprise the ground over which the campaign must be waged. The field is level, the professional understands, only in heaven.
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
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